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Calze Omsa”, che gli uomini dai cinquant’ anni in su ricorderanno bene; mentre questi motivetti andavano con me impietrito sul letto ed il cazzo in ebollizione, mia zia aveva scartato un paio di quelle calze favolose e lentamente le stava indossando, facendo attenzione che il reggicalze si agganciasse perfettamente alla calza. “Vieni qui, dietro di me e dimmi se la qualità di queste calze è buona!” mi sussurrò. Eravamo ora davanti allo specchio verticale del suo armadio, quindi vedevo riflessa la scena di mia zia leggermente piegata in avanti ad aggiustarsi le calze ed io inginocchiato dietro di lei, come mi aveva chiesto. “oooh, ma sono stupende queste calze, dissi io, passando il palmo della mano dalla caviglia fino alla coscia”. Allora con fare da vera troia, mi chiese: “…. e tu che cosa vorresti fare su queste calze che velano le mie gambe?” allora, senza esitare, con l’ uccello già fuori, esclamai: “Ti faccio….. Omsa, che gambe!”, cominciando a strusciarglielo su e giù dalla. OK, other thoughts occurred to me as well, but I was smitten by this girl and didn’t want to push it. By the time she’d finished her sweet, some concoction with strawberries by the way, I could have told you how many mouthfuls she’d taken in total, and how many times she sipped the wine. Then, over coffee, what I dreaded happened. ‘I’m not much cop on computors, Tim,’ Sally smiled at me innocently. ‘There are a few things I’ve never understood. Perhaps you’re just the man to help me.’ The fact that she wasn’t a computor wiz was a relief, me supposed to being one myself, but she had questions — Potential disaster! Time to change the subject. ‘Maybe I could go through a few things with you another time,’ I tried. ‘How’s the coffee?’ ‘Coffee’s fine,’ Sally replied. ‘But Tim, what’s a googlewack?’ ‘A googlewack?’ I repeated back to her, trying to sound confident, my mind a complete blank. ‘Yes a googlewack,’ she went on. ‘It’s something to do with computors and I was wondering what it.
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